I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need a beard to bite.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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