I heard we made out
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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