You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
