The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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