The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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