lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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