big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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