i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
