I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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