Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
