I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
