You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize