garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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