So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
