Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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(708): View more from Illinois

so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents

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(740): View more from Ohio

Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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(514): View more from Quebec

she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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(831): View more from California

YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You can wear anything you want

(704): View more from North Carolina

So... Naked it is then

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(703): View more from Virginia

You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers

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