11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
with your own penis?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
