Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
