Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
