oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
