Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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