just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
is it fun? or sober?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
