So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
