Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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