What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
