We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
