Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
