I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
