i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
