Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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