just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
