Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
