I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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