she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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