You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
