I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
