is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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