May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
