My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
