The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to calm my uterus...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
