party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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