He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
