My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
