why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
