I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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