WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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