And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His hands were made for my vagina.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize