I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
