Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
