I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
