sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This baby is an asshole
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I didn't notice because vodka
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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