You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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