just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My ass is underappreciated
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
