question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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