Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
