Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
