Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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