I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize